10 tips for coaching your own kids

A lot of adults get into youth coaching because their own child is in the team.

However, it is a situation that comes with its own unique challenges. Here are our top tips to help you cope...

01 DON’T FAVOUR THEM

Don’t build your team around your child. You might truly believe they are the most talented member of the team but resist the temptation to make them the main striker, captain, penalty-taker and free-kick specialist all rolled into one.

02 DON’T FORGET THEM

If you have taken on your child’s team, there is a strong possibility they could be among the better players. But while you can’t favour them, don’t go too far the other way and leave them with no responsibilities at all. Balance is key.

03 DON’T GET ANGRY WITH THEM

Don’t vent your frustrations on your child publicly. It is much easier to do this with your own offspring because it is likely you will have told them off in public before. But you mustn’t do this at training or matches, as it will make them feel like they are being singled out unfairly.

04 TALK TO THEM AFTER SOCCER

Talk to your child after games and training and specifically focus on the football. Let them know why you have made some of the decisions you have and remind them that you have to be fair to the team as a whole and treat them as another squad member.

05 DON’T TELL THEM TOO MUCH

Don’t let your child become more than just another player. They may be party to some of your tactics and formations before anyone else, but make sure they don’t impart this to the rest of the team - and certainly don’t talk to them about the other players. Resist the temptation to turn them into your assistant.

06 DON’T LET SOCCER TAKE OVER

Make sure the team doesn’t take over your relationship with your child. It is easy to get very involved in youth soccer and you are bound to talk about the game a fair bit with your child as a result, but make an effort to compartmentalise it so you still have a normal parent/child relationship.

07 DON’T PUSH TOO HARD

It’s great when everyone can see your child is a good player because their inclusion in the team justifies itself. But, if they have a bad run of form, gently encourage them – do a bit of one-to-one work or rest them for a while. Getting on their case could put them off for good.

08 ENCOURAGE OTHER ACTIVITIES

Encourage your child to play for other teams and participate in different sports. Not only does this keep their fitness levels up - as long as it’s not overdone - but they will also be subject to a different coaching perspective. They may even come back with a greater appreciation of the job you are doing as a coach.

09 MAKE SURE THEY ARE HAPPY

Don’t forget why you got involved in the first place. Your child may not be the only reason but it will have been the first reason you got involved. So always make sure your child is comfortable with your involvement generally.

10 TAKE A STEP BACK

Do remember that everyone in your team is someone else’s child and therefore observed by someone through rose-tinted glasses. Every so often, take a step back and ask yourself the question: are you being as fair and even-handed as you possibly can to everyone in your team, including your child?